August 12th began like any other day at my house, with my twin girls waking us up ready to get their day started. I got up fixed their breakfast, did my usual routine and then around 10:30 as my husband and his sister headed out the door to classes, I put the girls down for their nap. I had to hurry to get to my doctors appointment where I was to get the stitches out from having a mole removed from my neck. I went to my appointment alone, sat for quite awhile in the exam room before the doctor came in. She began to go about her work and told me how nicely the incision was healing.
Then the stitches were gone and she pulled a piece of paper out and proceeded with the results of my biopsy. She said how good my regular doctor was for catching this spot and hurrying to get it removed. Then came the bombshell “Its Cancer” I was stunned, and instantly teared up but fought back the tears. I was not expecting that. Then came more ” Its the worst kind to have, its aggressive and spreads quickly. We don’t know if its already in your glands, or lymph nodes. It’s type 4 meaning its beyond skin deep. We need to be quick and get treatment started.”
Those are words you just hope you never have to hear. But I did and its left me numb, reeling, just totally have lost ability to focus on life matters. You just never know what a day will hold and how your life will be forever changed. I have 18month old twin girls that I want to see grow up. I want to be there for their first day of school, their kindergarten graduation, their sleepovers and birthday parties, their transition to young ladies, their high school graduation, sending them to college, helping to plan their weddings, celebrating the birth of their children and my grandchildren. I realize that cancer doesn’t always mean a death sentence, but its scary,uncertain, and doesn’t have regard for life circumstances or dreams.
With that said, I plan n to fight and WIN!