Search

Count It All Joy

Knowing that the trial of your faith bringeth forth patience

Month

September 2015

I will enter His gates with thanksgiving…

This verse could not sum up this day any better. As you know if you’ve been following my journey, I had my post op appointment today in Columbus. The results are in and 3 of 3 Lymphnodes are negative for cancer!!! PRAISE THE LORD!! I was and still am so happy!!! My first reaction was “YES!!!” Followed in my mind by Praise the Lord!!  I just wish I had voiced that thought instead of held it in.

image

Mommy and Elayna with happy faces!! I feel like a great burden has lifted.

image

This was before the appointment and I think I can still notice the tension in my face of not knowing.

image

My sweetheart and I! Glad to have this man by my side!! He’s a trooper!

Pre-post op!

Well today is the day I find out the results of the Lymphnode Biopsy, so I’m a little anxious. But I did want to let everyone know that I’m grateful for all of the prayers and support going up for us. Monday I did feel better and then started having trouble again Tuesday night. However, since I see the doc today I’ll just hold on till then.

Seems like I should be able to sleep, but I have so much running around in my mind, I can’t seem to quiet my thoughts and rest. I know there are those in the cancer battle who are far worse than I am, so I certainly don’t want to come across as thinking I’m so bad off or pity me! Part of the battle with cancer is your mind and what you allow it to focus on. I don’t know what the future holds for me or for my family. I also don’t know the reason that God has determined this is the path and journey that I will take. I want to always be mindful of God’s perfect plan and will in all of this. At times it is easy to allow my mind to focus on all of the negative aspects of this journey I’m going through. I could focus on the 4 inch scar that I now have on my neck, or I could turn it into an opportunity to share my faith in God, and an opportunity to wear some really cute scarves! I could focus on the fact that I will be sitting in more doctors offices and hospitals than I really ever thought I would, or I could focus on the fact that I’ve already met incredible people and I’ve been given an opportunity to be a light and witness in an atmosphere permeated with darkness, doubt, waning faith, weakness, and lack of trust in God. Sure, I don’t know what the ending of this day may hold whether rejoicing or more shock and additional pain. But whatever this day holds I choose to trust in Jesus. I choose to allow God to do what He deems best for me and my family.

I can trust Jesus. I can trust Jesus, He never once has failed to meet my needs. He is my strong tower, strength in my weakest hour. I can trust Jesus. He takes care of me.

I choose to trust You even in this valley of confusion, fear and doubt. I choose to let You use me in the way that You see fit.

And the Journey goes on…

Tonight I’ve had a difficult time. I’ve been suffering with swelling and pain every time I eat. Then had a spell where I felt like my blood sugar dropped and I couldn’t stop shaking. Then this evening I had to leave the church service because my head wouldn’t stop spinning. I’m just doing my best to hold out till I see my cancer doctor on Wednesday. I will be have a brain CT scan that day as well. Continued prayers are appreciated!

Surgery Update

Abby had surgery to remove any remaining cancer cells in the area on her neck as well as to remove 4 3Lymphnodes from the area that will be biopsied for any cancer cells. Surgery went good although it was long about 3 hours total. It was an extremely long and tiring day for all of us. Abby is home and resting. She’s very stiff and sore but doing good. The Lord definitely kept His hand on her and guided the doctors as well.

‘Twas the Night Before…

‘Twas the night before surgery,

And all through the house,

Preparations were made by both man and spouse,

The babies snug in their beds,

Mom had kissed both their heads.

To church they had gone and prayer had been made,

The church had made sure to send their love and good wishes

that soon all these trials would fade. .

The fears still did linger, as if held by a finger.

Ab had read all the paperwork, signed on the line

And was hoping that soon she’d be fine.

You see only a month ago she had heard that the spot from your neck,

it’s going to make you fret, it’s because it is cancer that’s growing.

We must get you in to see a expert and in quite a rush.

So in just a bit and with quite the fuss,

Ab was sent to Columbus to see a new doc.

The new doc did prod and she did spy and then she said that I needed to sign.

So, off to surgery I was scheduled and for this test and that.

The thoughts they did swell

and fears and doubts were hard to quell.

She knew that her heavenly Father did know every detail and held every plan

and each beat of her heart was held in His hand.

Ab knew she must trust and not make a big fuss,

She had heard, and she held each promise so dear,

In His word He had said not to fear.

In Jesus she trusted and had felt very near.

She felt He was holding her up in his hand.

So, she determined in her heart to hold the promises true that He’d spoken so clear.

Tomorrow would dawn and she would move on,

To the next phase of life and face it in stead of give up and give in.

She’d determined she’d fight and she’d win.

In her heart it is settled, Jesus is King.

In her life it’s determined that Heaven she’ll make.

Her husband and kids she plans to enjoy and those are the things,

That in this life do matter, whatever life throws at her she’ll take.

The saying goes “When life gives you lemons, then make lemonade.”

Life’s trials seem hard, life’s trials aren’t fair,

But if we wait we’ll soon go to a land where on gold streets we’ll promenade.

There won’t be grey in our hair,

Our pain we’ll forget, our scars will be healed and our crowns will be laid,

At the feet of the one who great sacrifice made,

For our sins He did die, and then he arose, then He triumphed over the grave.

So with song in my heart and praises made, I’ll close this chapter.

I’ll grow and I’ll learn and I hope that it’s clear,

That even though I might fear,

I’ve made quite a choice, I’ve taken my stand,

I’ll take Jesus instead of the world and Heaven I’ll gain.

–written by Abigail Kuhn

And there’s bumps along the way

Today we went to the Pavilion at the Wexner Medical Center in Columbus to have my brain MRI. Crazy day to go since it was the first at home game for Ohio State University and traffic getting into the Pavilion was crazy! But anyways we made it and I went in to get all set up. They went through all the normal questions that a person gets asked for a test like that, then I proceeded to let them know that I still have shrapnel in my fingers from a gun accident I had when I was 15. So they looked and decided they needed to get an X-ray to see what they were dealing with, so we did.

After the technician took the X-ray he asked if I wanted to see it, and of course I was really interested in seeing what it looks like now, since it’s been nearly 15 years since the accident and I haven’t seen it since then as far as how it shows up on X-ray. I couldn’t believe the amount of shrapnel still left in my fingers considering how long it took them in surgery to “clean” it out. There’s one chunk that isn’t even in the bone that I think they could have easily removed without damaging anything, but it’s still there and it hurts every once in a while.

Well after having the X-ray and the radiologists reviewing it, they decided that it was not save to put me into the MRI machine because of the risk of burns from the metal remaining in my fingers. They were not at full staff today since it is a weekend and didn’t feel comfortable trying it to see if it did bother me. However, the technician did run a pretty big magnet over my hand and it did nothing, but it’s not as powerful as the MRI tube. So now we wait to see what my cancer doctor says as to what she wants done, if she wants to attempt the MRI or just do a CT scan. I know that MRI’s are so much better at picturing the brain and getting the needed information, but for now, it just might not be possible.

Another bump in the road right now is that the spot that was said to have been removed from my neck and that all the cancer cells were gone, has returned. It’s very black and the area is irritated. My surgery isn’t until Thursday, but I’m a bit worried that by then as fast as this stuff grows that if it isn’t already in my Lymphnodes that it will be by then. 😦 But I must just trust in Jesus and keep moving forward. I’m having a bit of a rough night tonight as I’ve had another headache for most of the day and I can’t take my usual medicine to help because of my upcoming surgery so I can only take Tylenol which doesn’t do much at all for me.

On a lighter note Hubby and I were able to take a little date and I was able to get a few small Christmas (yes I said it) gifts bought for Christmas time. It’s hard for me to get out to shop, so I do most of that shopping online through Amazon and Ebay and various other sites. But I do enjoy finding things that I think people will like and things that interest them. I like to make people feel special and loved and I hope that I can do that for a lot longer yet!

Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee

This past week our church was in revival and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to be a part of that. I was worried the doctor would schedule my surgery right during that and I would miss out on it.

I have played the piano for 21 years now and I love music, its a huge part of my life. Over the past 3-4 months I’ve been struggling with memory issues to the point I’m almost afraid to drive and my husband even noticed when I paused for a bit after he called a song selection out at church. It’s like I get to the page and just lose my memory of how to play the piano entirely. And with driving I’ll all of a sudden become conscious and wonder if I stopped at a red light or wonder how far I hadn’t been paying attention. I know that stress can do a lot to a person’s body both physically and mentally and we are hoping that’s all it is, however my cancer doctor scheduled me for a brain MRI this Saturday. I’ve been struggling with headaches and dizzy spells as well so we are just gonna get it all checked out.

Please continue to pray as the various testing is carried out. My surgery is scheduled for September 17th to do a Sentinel Lymphnode Biopsy and clean up the area where the first biopsy was taken.

image

This picture was taken in 2011 in Nashville, TN where I was privileged to play a Steinway Grand Piano.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑