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Count It All Joy

Knowing that the trial of your faith bringeth forth patience

Month

October 2015

Maybe His blessings come through…

My heart aches for a friend and her family today, they lost their dad and she lost the love of her life suddenly last night. As I lay trying to soothe my frightened daughter last night, we had a power outage and she was scared of the dark, I reached across her and held my husband’s hand and thought of how I would feel had it been my little family. It brought back a flood of memories of the shock of losing my dad almost 4 years ago. I can remember that flood of shock and tears and aching I felt. I can remember getting off the phone with my mom and just repeating “Oh God!! Oh God!! Oh God!!” and sobbing. It seems life never really prepares us for the moments that leave us reeling, aching, grieving and questioning.

This morning while preparing for church the song “Even In The Valley God is Good” kept running through my head so I listened to it 3 times in a row. It brings comfort that truly even in our valleys God is still good! Another song by Laura Story comes to mind which prompted the title of this post and its simply called “Blessings” there is aching in this life but we may miss out on the blessings in disguise if we fail to recognize that even with that ache, that loneliness, that grief God still has a way of comforting, holding and letting us know He is there.

I know recently I’ve been aching with another friend who lost her fiancé 2 weeks before their wedding, then I rejoice with others who welcomed new little ones to their families, and still others who were married. Seems life leaves us in a mix of emotions at times and we just have to pick up and go on. I guess what I’m trying to say is that even in the times when life seems unfair, even cruel we can still trust in the One who sees the big picture and knows that we are frail children of dust. Tears are a language that God understands.  

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So how has my life been changed…

You might be wondering how my life has changed since my diagnosis and the results of my biopsies. Regardless of the fact that I’m currently not needing more treatments as far as radiation or chemotherapy, I still deal with the life fact that I now have a greater risk of developing another melanoma in my life, so I must visit my Oncologist and a Dermatologist 4 times a year to prevent any other spots getting overlooked. I also have a 4 inch long scar on the side of my face that will require vitamin E treatments to ensure that the scar tissue does not get too hard and I also now have issues when I turn my head because the skin is very tight where they had to pull it together. I’m a bit self conscious when I’m out and about and tend to try and wear scarves to draw attention away from that big scar. I’m including pictures of it here so that you can see what it looks like now.

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Above was just after surgery, I was still in the hospital as you can tell from the gown.

Displaying 0930163916_02.jpgAbove is the day of my post op appointment and it looks even less pinkish now. 🙂 So I know that it is healing and it will get better with time. I’m so grateful that even tho I might have a big scar it just goes to show that I fought it and with God’s power I won! 🙂

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